Neanderthal Friendship

The other day, I was velonauting quietly through the pastoral Illinois countryside when I was lucky enough to come across a fellow neanderthal.  He made his presence known by honking his horn in enthusiasm for my bright little vehicle as he approached from behind.  As he drew closer, he hailed me with many a deep and guttural sound of greeting before honoring me with this…


Yes, it is the neanderthal’s International Sign of Friendship.  (Please note the quaint regional variant of the proudly displayed opposable thumb).  This symbol of friendship is, unfortunately, often maligned and misinterpreted in our modern age.  Its actual definition runs thusly –

I extend to you this – my finger of friendship – in goodwill and with hopes that you do exactly as I want you to do, which, incidentally is not what you are doing at the present time.  If in the future, you would be so good as to refrain from whatever you are doing that irritates me, we can meet again in peace – at which time I will honor our deep abiding friendship by ignoring you entirely.  Goodbye and farewell fellow traveler.

Ah, the passing of a fierce and noble beast.  Once proud pinnacle of the food chain and owner of all he surveyed, now brought low by the abomination of increased brain capacity and its insidious spread of knowledge… and wisdom.  What a sad and awesome sight.

Suffice it to say that I was moved almost to tears by his benevolent gesture.

Yes, farewell fellow traveler.  I extend to you my finger of friendship as well.

11 thoughts on “Neanderthal Friendship

  1. Ha, Ha! I have HERD of those types but haven’t see one yet. Locally we have a few cyclists among the police and a visit to the right office with video in hand usually results in charges. If audio is good enough they can really pile on lots of charges if you are threatened with any harm. Video cameras are very poplar with cyclists these days.

    • That’s a very good reason to carry a camera but probably unnecessary in this case. I think they were just two young chimps beating their chests to impress each other and weren’t a real danger to me. But I did enjoy the show!

    • Thanks Wim! You should know that it was your blog, more than any other, which directly inspired my efforts. Thanks for the tutoring and best of luck with your two new endeavors!

  2. Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.

    Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest
    authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My blog goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other.
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  3. Ha! This one seems to be a member of the species ‘idiota magna urbica’ – the big urban idiot. This is behaviour inherent to the species so nothing to worry about. It can be induced to withdraw by violent friendly waving.

    Hilarious post! Loved it!

    Greetings … Lars

    • Hi Lars,

      I hope you don’t meet many of these in your Intrepid but I think your strategy of friendly waving is far superior to my method. It totally defuses the situation. There’s something inherently stupid about laying near ground level, in your fragile machine, trying to piss off a neanderthal sitting high above you on his heap of metal and horsepower.

      But it does get the adrenalin flowing…

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