The other day, I was velonauting quietly through the pastoral Illinois countryside when I was lucky enough to come across a fellow neanderthal. He made his presence known by honking his horn in enthusiasm for my bright little vehicle as he approached from behind. As he drew closer, he hailed me with many a deep and guttural sound of greeting before honoring me with this…
Yes, it is the neanderthal’s International Sign of Friendship. (Please note the quaint regional variant of the proudly displayed opposable thumb). This symbol of friendship is, unfortunately, often maligned and misinterpreted in our modern age. Its actual definition runs thusly –
I extend to you this – my finger of friendship – in goodwill and with hopes that you do exactly as I want you to do, which, incidentally is not what you are doing at the present time. If in the future, you would be so good as to refrain from whatever you are doing that irritates me, we can meet again in peace – at which time I will honor our deep abiding friendship by ignoring you entirely. Goodbye and farewell fellow traveler.
Ah, the passing of a fierce and noble beast. Once proud pinnacle of the food chain and owner of all he surveyed, now brought low by the abomination of increased brain capacity and its insidious spread of knowledge… and wisdom. What a sad and awesome sight.
Suffice it to say that I was moved almost to tears by his benevolent gesture.
Yes, farewell fellow traveler. I extend to you my finger of friendship as well.