Velonaut’s Multi-Tool

I made a few discoveries during our visit to the Amazon.  One was that I have very healthy sweat glands and another is that I seem to be blessed with many more of them than everyone else.  After all this time, I’ve finally found my true calling – as a bipedal drip-irrigation system.  Oh yeah, I’m for rent if you’re interested!  Anyway, these revelations led me to yet a third… um… revelation – This… !

bandana

No, that’s no polite little handkerchief but a manly man’s bandana by golly!  I threw one into my travel kit to Peru at the urging of a very wise man (my dad) and pulled it out when the sweat was so thick in my eyes that I couldn’t see (about 15 minutes after we landed).  It gradually went from face mop to mosquito flicker to a personal swamp cooler around my neck.  And that was only the beginning.  Now, back home, I use it in the velomobile as a constant companion and multi-tool.

Here’s a partial list of uses…

1. Sweat mop – use it to get the sweat out of your eyes on really hot days – or extremely nervous situations…

airplane_robert_hays_ted_striker_sweating_profusely

2. Blow your nose – For emergency use only!  And if you must blow, remember to store it in a different location so you don’t accidentally go from nose blowing to sweat mopping.  Don’t ask me how I know…

hankey

3. Mosquito flicker – flap it around your head and ears to keep circling mosquitoes from landing while you stop to enjoy the view…

peeing

Just look at that gorgeous sunset boys!

4. Clean the glass – reading glasses, sunglasses, goggles, camera, visor, and rear-view mirrors…

Glass Cleaning

5. Wear it over your nose and mouth – for preventing riverside gnat clouds from infiltrating your oxygen supply – keeping your face warm in icy temperatures – or knocking off the local liqueur store…

bandana robber

Howdy

6. Wear it as a headband – to keep the sweat out of your eyes and get that whole Karate Kid vibe going.

So does it make me look like Rambo?

So does it make me look like Axl Rose?

Axl

Huh?

7. Wear it as a neck band – I never got why they used these in old safari movies.  I thought it was just a fashion thing but no – it’s to keep cool.  Just soak it in water and wrap around your neck.  Aaaaaah…  I use this all the time now.  OK, it’s a fashion thing too…

Humphery Bogart African Queen

Axl who??

8. Wear it as a hat – Arrrr!

johnny-depp-pirate

Please tell me I don’t look like Axl…

Here’s how to do it “the right way”!

9. Make emergency repairs – Didn’t really prove to be a super-effective tire patch but you get the idea…

IMG_0840

10. Use it as a flag – when driving in really aggressive traffic…

11. Use it for first aid

IMG_0844

Oh no, that was my drinking arm!

12. Muzzle – Kathy’s idea.  I’m not too thrilled about it…

IMG_0847

So did I tell you about my velomobile? Mmf, mmf, mmmf!!!

10 thoughts on “Velonaut’s Multi-Tool

  1. Now that is a great picture Kathy. I have noticed that in the hot weather I am also a bipedal drip-irrigation system. Despite being a bipedal drip-irrigation system I find my head is still swollen since I got my Velomobile. How’s your head doing since your trip?

    • Hi Kevin,

      Sorry to hear that you got the Niagara Falls gene as well. My fat head is as full of air as it ever was – but running about 120 psi now! Just hoping to keep the tread from looking like a Kojak…

  2. My wife especially liked the last picture….the best use of a velomobile-use related article according to her, second maybe to tying my hands so i can’t order some tires, parts or other stuff for the Quest, all equally useless and needlessly garage-filling according to her ;-)))

    • Hey Arjan, Tell your wife she is lucky not to be married to me. I just bought 2 rear tires,4 front tires, 8 front tubes and 4 rears tubes just to have on hand in my garage. Nobody stocks those size tires locally so I have to keep my own stock. I do let my wife park her car and her Trike in the garage.

  3. Just saw this great post! On a cross-country tandem bike trip back in summer 1991 my wife and I made extensive use of bandannas and came up with the acronym IMPFUD: Indispensible Multi-Purpose Fabric Utility Device. They can be extremely useful!

    • IMPFUD – Love it!! I never leave home without it now. The first trick is learning to take one with you, the second is remembering that you have it. After that, many problems just seem to solve themselves.

      Going on a cross-country tandem ride with your wife – now that’s what I call true love and commitment! Especially since you didn’t say ex-wife! All my best to you both.

      Stuart

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